Costa Cruises announced that it will pay 11,000 euros to every passenger on its doomed Concordia luxury liner.
Dead and missing people will be paid TWICE as much.
President Barack Obama's State of the Union address Tuesday night was seen by 37.8 million viewers
which makes it by far the most successful television commercial on Earth
Nicolas Sarkozy turned down an offer to be the President of Bruxelles after the French presidential election in May
Time traveler with paper iPad and 1787 constitutional luggage
Meryl Streep will run for Prime Minister of the United Kingdom in the upcoming British elections
This bridge connects the Morphyne.com headquarters in the Hollywood Hills with the Sacre Coeur Basilica in Montmartre
Newt Gingrich aide surreptitiously pulling the chair from under Mitt Romney during a campaign speech in Florida
To this girl, debt, deficit, unemployment, recession, inflation and presidential elections do not mean anything.
If she and her family can survive in 2012, she'll be happy.
Happy new year, little girl !
It must be very HARD for someone like Angelina Jolie
to travel all over the world with only a Louis Vuitton bag on her back and NO shoes
Polar bears hibernate underwater during winter, but they surface just in time for the exhilarating arrival of spring
The guy in the middle is by far the most powerful man on the planet
It's official : Berlin is now 100% JEWISH !
“The Protester” was named Time magazine’s 2011 person of the year. The owner of the van was NOT given a chance to respond.
Cartoon figurehead Kim Jong iL died after the ridiculous freak in his ego overpowered the flamboyantly NUCULAR North Korean dictator
These people were BLOWN AWAY by a speech President Barack Obama masterfully teleprompted today at the White House
"American Idol" is a very popular television show in Venezuela because it attracts contestants from ALL walks of life
By using a VERY intense concentration technique, this man can manage to stay in this suspended position for over one hour
Mark Zuckerberg joined the Occupy Wall Street movement
to protest against the financial institutions' inability to make as much money as his personal income
The Shopping Season is that favorite time of the year
when people love to buy things they don't really need or to replace them with things they already have
This store detective has a 100% apprehension rate in the produce department
Wall Street banker begging for a million-dollar cash bonus on the streets of Manhattan
Did you know that Vladimir Putin now works as a full-time KGB dentist ?
The Dalai Lama will be retiring soon, so a replacement for the lifetime Buddhist demigod had to be found in a hurry
McDonald's employee taking orders at a drive-thru window somewhere in deep insurgent Taliban territory
A Beverly Hills judge sentenced Lindsay Lohan to 30 days in jail after she admitted that she is addicted to a daily dose of Morphyne.com
52 years after the Cuban revolution, the communist government declared VICTORY by allowing its citizens
to buy, sell and own their OWN real estate.
Occupy Wall Street protesters, take notice : Capitalism has finally been defeated.
Congratulations.
Cube on !
Statistics shows that from the point of view of a toddler, most people are strange, complicated and OLD
Future U.S. voter proudly marking his territory
Supermodel wife Carla Bruni wearing an evening gown designed by Nicolas Sarkozy
French President Nicolas Sarkozy is the proud father of a new baby girl, born on October 19, 2011 in Paris.
In comparison, the last time President Barack Obama had a baby was way back in 2001.
Did you know that an un-authorized biography of Steve Jobs written in Chinese by anonymous writers
is 99% cheaper than the real Steve Jobs biography written in English by a biographer like Walter Isaacson ?
The 2012 Morphyne Obamamobile with moonroof jacuzzi and election campaign tax-the-rich teleprompter
New York City sanitation worker cleaning up after those pesky Occupy Wall Street protesters
The reaction of the Saudi ambassador to the United States upon realizing that Iran had plans to assassinate him in Washington D.C.
John Sculley, the man who fired Steve Jobs from Apple, was hired by the Obama administration as CEO of SOLYNDRA,
a very successful energy company which makes subsidized solar panels powered by imported Iranian gasoline
The Steve Macintosh Cathedral in Apple City, New York
This is what the Apple iPad looked like back in 1976
Dr. Ralph Steinman, a winner of the 2011 Nobel Prize in Medicine, died of PANCREATIC CANCER three days before winning the prestigious award.
The winner of the Nobel Prize in Chemistry won for discovering invisible traces of H2O in tap water,
the winner of the Nobel Prize in Physics disappeared in a self-made expanding black hole,
the winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics declared bankruptcy,
the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize was arrested for domestic battery and spousal abuse
and the winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature admitted experiencing complete writer's block while writing the award-winning novel.
Peanut butter and bacon donuts can actually help you LOSE weight,
because dead people weigh LESS than the people who eat a balanced low-calorie diet
While shopping incognito at Target, First Lady Michelle Obama went completely UNRECOGNIZED
(except by the army of casually dressed Secret Service agents who were acting as shoppers or as indifferent cashiers)
Spanish bullfighter José Tomás was killed by a bull in Barcelona today.
Texting while bullfighting is the number one cause of death in Catalonia's bullrings these days.
Islamic Lingerie
Matt Stone and Trey Parker (the creators of Morphyne.com) were JAILED today in Iran
for calling Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the Colonic Organic Material who thinks that he is the New Jesus Christ in the Holy Koran
Larry Page and Sergey Brin (the founders of Morphyne.com) were also JAILED as spies in Iran.
They were arrested while hiking online and were charged with spreading knowledge, information and truth.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is currently in New York negotiating a one hundred billion dollar bail in untraceable cash.
Dead man reminiscing his youth
Real parents with fictional children
The Art Police
Why work when you can SING ?
Single young women looking for REAL men
This is what happens when you hire an unstable, undependable and unreliable contractor
Young girls taking part in an unsynchronized swimming competition
Flight delays, missed connections and excess baggage fees are annoying,
but landing on a desert airstrip controlled by the Taliban may be the ultimate pain in your life
Picture of a an ever recurring divorce
The new Lexus pick-up truck features an air-conditioned soft leather bed, a fully automatic invisible hard top,
an all-you-can-dream virtual minibar and a 360º holographic karaoke machine
Robert De Niro was the president of the Cannes Film Festival this year
so Joe Pesci, Ray Liotta, Paul Sorvino, Martin Scorsese and John Gotti Jr. formed the rest of the jury
(and they knew from the very start who would win) ..
As a condition of his participation, Woody Allen demanded that he be the ONLY member of the 2011 Cannes Film Festival jury
Picture of Osama bin Laden writing today's news on his laptop computer
Pakistani special forces proudly exhibiting the ability to find Al Qaeda terrorists hiding openly in their country
Picture of Osama bin Laden AFTER his death
The royal newlyweds on their SECRET honeymoon
Immortal young woman sleeping in her own grave
Picture of Cristiano Ronaldo begging for attention
President Obama warning Americans making more than $250,000 a year that there will be CONSEQUENCES if they continue to do so
Eclectic Taliban characters taking the bus from Kabul to New York
Picture of a contemplative COUGAR daydreaming about what could have happened had she lived seven lives
This French Air Force crew on a NATO mission to Libya
GOT LOST in the confusing European airspace and ended up bombing the hell out of Belgium
Designed by Frank Gehry, this modern nuclear power plant overlooking Downtown Los Angeles
features a five-star restaurant, an indoor swimming pool bar, complimentary limousine service
and free subconscious access to MORPHYNE.COM
Morphyne.com photographer hitchhiking from Fukushima to Benghazi (today)
The good news about the nuclear tragedy in Japan is that plutonium isotopes only last around for two thousand years
so by the time you will reach that critical age, you should be free and clear of any radiation at all
Unemployment is DOWN to 8.9% due to the fact that many companies are hiring people without pay
or replacing full-time jobs with no-time jobs which pay less than the official illegal immigrant wage
An apple once or twice every day would definitely keep the doctor from this fancy hotel room away
Julien Berthier is attempting to sail around the world on a sinking boat.
The voyage is sponsored by the New York Stock Exchange.
Morphyne.com predicts that kite-powered cars will be the automobiles of the future
Social networks and media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube ignited the Arab Spring power coups
much the same way Morphyne.com set fire to the Tour de France and to the French Revolution
Adolf Mubarak was the rock star of modern Islamic fundamentalist women
The Muslim Brotherhood invited well-known and respected Egyptian doctor Ayman al-Zawahiri
to return to Cairo and to lead the Egyptian nation to guaranteed self-destruction.
Their platform :
-Strictly enforce the Sharia Law
-Shut down the Suez Canal
-Catapult oil prices well over 300 dollars per barrel
-Collapse the world economy
-Declare war to Israel and to the United States
-Build a mosque in Manhattan
A painted glass mural at the Rolling Stones Cathedral in London
Here are a few power points from the President's State of the Union address :
-The Government will reduce the $14 trillion national deficit by at least one thousand dollars or less
-Government spending will be cut by minus zero percent
-There will be plenty of jobs (as long as you move to Shanghai or Beijing)
-If you do NOT have a job, one will be created for you at taxpayers' expense
-Obamacare premiums will not exceed your total annual income or your entire lifetime savings or both
-Your home's value will go UP a lot (provided you foreclose it at 40% and then buy it right back)
-U.S. Immigration and Border Patrol will enforce a new law : "Three strikes and you're IN"
-The Dollar will be worth about twenty-five cents
-China will take over the Federal Budget
-Mexico will win the Super Bowl
-Warren Buffett will relocate to France
BMW 335i Coupe : $43,900 BlackBerry SmartPhone: $99. Verizon Unlimited Plan: $69.99.
Texting while driving: Priceless.
A man with a shovel digging a hole in the water
McDonalds opened a very chic, expensive, elegant and discreet restaurant here in Paris
McLouvre.com
On his first day on the job, California Governor Jerry Brown announced that he would like to see property taxes go up 100%,
that smoking marijuana while driving an automobile should be legal and that Mexican border checkpoints will be a thing of the past
The writer of Morphyne.com during work hours
Russia has been calling for Julian Assange to be awarded the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize,
but when WikiLeaks announced that it would publish disclosures unmasking massive corruption among Russia's "highest political elites",
Vladimir Putin asked for Julian Assange to be extradited to Russia, incarcerated, waterboarded, electrocuted and killed.
Believe it or not, Julian Assange is complaining that someone leaked a police report about his alleged sexual offenses in Sweden.
He threatens to SUE anyone who leaks any confidential facts about his personal life.
Hundreds of women came forward and cryptically reminisced that Julian's wikileak is of a VERY classified size.
New spectroscopic evidence shows that Julian Assange is not only infrared, but also ultraviolet, radioactive and toxic
Rumors are that Julian Assange will be handed over to a Taliban Court for a very fair, speedy, equitable and apolitical trial
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Top 10 WikiLeaks Revelations :
-If Medvedev is to Putin what Robin is to Batman, then Groucho Marx is to Karl Marx what Kim Jong IL is to Barack Obama
-Nicolas Sarkozy and Angela Merkel are getting along fine, except that one sees the glass as half hopeless while the other one sees the glass as half German
-China will buy ObamaCare for 17 trillion dollars in cash, eliminate Medicare and invest Social Security in a George Soros recurrent deficit fund
-Europe is willing to increase its troops in Afghanistan from ten to twelve, but the two extra soldiers are refusing to go
-When he looks in the mirror, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sees a very elegant, handsome and attractive young man
-All he ever wanted was to join the Screen Actors Guild, but Julian Assange was turned down again and again
-Facebook will buy WikiLeaks and become a classified personal information messaging platform
-Brad Pitt desperately wants a divorce but he is not allowed out of the the house during daylight hours
-"Don't Ask Don't Tell" is a policy which applies to conjugal life
-Arabs and Jews do NOT get along
-Copyright @ Morphyne.com
Business people praying for the economic recession to somehow go away by itself
According to a study conducted by the Morphyne Institute, nine people in ten have no idea who the tenth person is
You might not know this, but the Obama Stimulus Plan generates an average of 2,000 kilowatt calories per hour
Michael Moore's very last POV on this planet
Recession steak with Prozac cheese and deferred vegetables
Woody Allen won the 2012 Nobel Prize in Existential Narcolepsy for discovering a perplexing neuro-stimulant drug called Morphyne
Where else but UP should Tiger Woods stare at this point ?
Her attorney looked at her tits and decided : "Yep. Those two are well worth my time today in this court!"
In this latest stage version of Shakespeare's masterpiece, HAMLET rants effusively about the joy of cyclical penitence, repentance and guilt
Doctors performing an autopsy on a brand new Toyota automatic transmission diagnosed with an inexplicable sudden acceleration
found absolutely nothing wrong with the car other than the fact that it sometimes fails to respond when the driver applies the brake pedal
The NEW Apple TV has no screen and no remote control
because it uses your own imagination to transmit picture and sound straight to your eyes and your brain
Optical illusion with incompatible political improbability in the foreground
Long before David Letterman, Jay Leno and Johnny Carson, there was the online Morphyne Show on eNBC
Sex after the age of 120
The 2010 Miss Political Correctness won this year's international beauty competition
by correctly answering the following question :
-When does something completely illegal become politically legal and how does something perfectly legal become fundamentally racist ?
The World's Most Influential People According to God :
1. Barack Obama
2. Hu Jintao
3. Nancy Pelosi
4. Michelle Obama
5. Angela Merkel
6. Vladimir Putin
7. Warren Buffett
8. Jesus Christ
9. Angelina Jolie
10. Morphyne.com
President Obama is in favor of building a $100 million mosque near ground zero in Lower Manhattan
but only as long as it will accept Hispanic illegal immigrants and future Latino voters as well
The MEXICO TOURISM BOARD would like to assure summer vacationers that travel to Mexico is 100% SAFE
as long as you travel on private jets to random Mexican destinations without any population
OR escorted by professional paramilitary bodyguards armed with rocket-propelled grenade launchers
and with heavy automatic machine guns loaded with very high caliber ammunition.
Expensive television, print and internet ads are touting a new and powerful advertising slogan:
"Millions of tourists traveled to Mexico last year, but only 22,700 or so have been killed".
"Crime is WAY down in Mexico because we have outsourced most of our criminals to the United States"
said Felipe Calderon, the President of Mexico, in an interview with Comedy Central.
"The dollar is strong, tequila is cheap, hepatitis is down one percent and salmonella can ONLY be found in water, vegetables and seafood"
added Arturo Beltrán Leyva, the head of a Mexican drug cartel which specializes in kidnapping and decapitating innocent American tourists.
Red wine can make you see things you would never admit you would rather see
President Barack Obama signed a sweeping Passive Change Bill,
which says that the more things stay the same, the more likely they are to fluctuate imperceptibly,
to stagnate exponentially or to improve retroactively
Morphyne.com uninhibited readers reacting to our latest international news
TRAVEL DEALS around the Gulf of Mexico are more than abundant these days.
Hotel rooms with a black oil sludge beach view for instance are less than twenty dollars a day.
Dead pelicans on your balcony or fish gasping for air in your shower might get you the room 100% FREE.
Crude oil in the drinking water might translate into FREE EVIAN.
Nausea and vomiting caused by unbreathable air might even get you a free trip to the BAR.
Apple CEO Steve Jobs shows Russian President Dmitry Medvedev live video footage of Russian spies spying for Russia in New York
In response to Arizona's SB1070 immigration bill, Mexico is drafting its own legislation designed to
racially profile, harass, arrest and deport American citizens illegally crossing into Mexico's luxury beach resorts
What is the British Prime Minister looking at and what does his pregnant wife think about that ?
Nicolas Sarkozy : "I swear I am going to KILL someone one of these days !"
Angelina Jolie will play Egyptian queen Cleopatra and Brad Pitt will play Roman emperor Marc Anthony
in a remake of the 1963 film starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.
In this new version, Cleopatra divorces Marc Anthony and raises seven children on her own and for less than $50 Million a year,
while Marc Anthony writes a tell-all blockbuster book about life in a non-stop sex dungeon and in everyday matrimonial HELL.
Picture of Steve Jobs trying to figure out the finger-free iPhone with telepathic Morphyne software
Shaquille O'Neill competed in the 2010 National Spelling Bee, but unfortunately did not get very far
Amazing, but my car runs on Gulf of Mexico WATER these days !
If you see a whole lot of ORANGE in this black-and-white picture, it means you have taken too much medication today
The Institute for Relative Economic Approximation and Irrelevant Market Studies (IREAIMS)
has determined that the recession will probably be over by the end of the next millennium.
At that point all of us will be dead, so debt in this country will finally be a thing of the past.
The Obama stimulus plan will kick in one fiscal year after that.
A 7.2-magnitude earthquake struck northern Mexico on Easter Sunday,
but since most Mexicans live in the United States, hardly anybody was hurt.
Only TWO people have died.
One Mexican man died of a panic attack while burglarizing a home
and another one died when he crashed a stolen car into a cocaine vending machine.
Thousands of people though have reported multiple bullet holes to their bodies.
Today, the only visible damage is looted stores, dead people roaming the streets
and decapitated police officers screaming in pain.
Other than that, the situation is completely under control.
Dyslexic KKK rabbi on his way to Catholic school
This is the first baby boy EVER who can live and breathe entirely underwater.
His father is a diver and his mother is a mermaid.
He likes to play with his dolphins. A Bermuda Triangle shark is his nanny.
His name is NeMo and he speaks H2O.
Picture of a demoralized Angelina Jolie in Midtown Manhattan after yet another unsuccessful job interview ..
He comes to us in most MERCURIAL ways ..
Dead AND soaking wet ? Now that's a bit TOO much, don't you think ?
The British Academy of Film and Television Awards at the Royal Opera House in London
seem to have been attended only by ABSENT and UNAVAILABLE people this year
Teutonic knight enjoying a cup of cappuccino before departing on yet another crusade
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad formed his own Islamic rock band called "The Nuculars"
and is now ON TOUR playing all dysfunctional Jihad psychiatric punk clubs he can get a microphone in
BREAKING NEWS
Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa has just announced that he will run for the Presidency of the United States.
His platform : transforming this nation into a third-world narco-plutocracy with the capital in Tijuana.
Illegal immigration will be perfectly legal, the Constitution will be fazed out
and the official language in the 49 contiguous states will be Spanish.
His slogan will be : "If you can't take the heat, get out of the fire!"
Italian Mafia mobsters have infiltrated the entertainment industry
and are frequently challenging the Hollywood Jewish oligarchy for very lucrative red carpet major creative awards
Passengers waiting to board a transatlantic flight to the United States
Throne salesman waiting for customers
This is what the passage of TIME slowly but surely will do to your face
If you see a set of consecutive numbers, you are dull, unimaginative, mediocre and common.
If you see a set of colorful, three-dimensional and exponential LETTERS you belong to a very creative elite.
This is what he supposedly said : "HAPPY HANUKKAH, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR" !
Zeitgeist Lunch Break
Nigerian student traveling on Northwest Airlines from Amsterdam to Detroit
Girls just want to have REST
U.S. Army General Stanley McChrystal, a former commander of the NATO forces in Afghanistan
explains the unquantifiable quantum dynamics of an unpredictable and ever-elusive BLACK HOLE
The Morphyne Art Gallery is now open at 34, Rue du Louvre, New York, CA 90069
Gourmet Turkeys
The RECESSION seems to have hit even Texas hinterland over-priced high fashion boutiques
Clint Eastwood will play Nicolas Sarkozy in a film about an American screen legend who becomes President of France
President Barack Obama has been visiting China
supposedly searching for the economic and political wisdom to replace our constitutional free market capitalist system
Portrait of a man from the past
The MORPHYNE everyday face cream works like a MIRACLE even on women over 4,000 years old
Morphyne.com real estate agent with horizontal condominium buyer
Vincent van Dogh
According to the latest polls, President Obama would at this point not only win the Nobel Peace Prize
but also the Vietnam War, the 2016 Copenhagen Olympics, an Oscar, American Idol and the NBA most valuable player award
Roman Polanski has been arrested for having had sex with a 13-year-old girl 30 years ago.
He also had sex with his 30-year-old bride 13 years ago
but there is currently no law against consensual marital sex in the country of France.
The Mother Theresa 2009 Summer Swimsuit Collection
Marie Antoinette
( 1755 -1793 )
Self Portrait with Subliminal Message
President Obama wants to make sure that his HEALTH CARE PLAN hires the most experienced and competent CEO
Taliban fighters before they ever gave a damn about Taliban fighting
Waiting for Go d'Eau
In an effort to stimulate the American economy
the $ 4,500 Cash for Clunkers Rebate Program has been extended to BRAND NEW
Aston Martin, Audi, BMW, Bentley, Ferrari, Lexus, Maserati, Mercedes Benz, Porsche, Range Rover and Rolls Royce
automobiles
Transcendental hippie monkey with vertical Malibu haircut
With golf holes this big, no wonder Tiger Woods wins every time !
Nicolas Sarkozy agrees with Barack Obama that a HOT STIMULUS PACKAGE is very hard NOT to follow
-What are you looking at ?
The Running of the Jews
In order to cut COSTS the Tour de France is taking place in China this year
Picture of the current RECESSION as seen by Morphyne.com
We now know what Brad Pitt reads over and over again during his BEST literary moments !
www.CatholicSex.com
Afghan women at an Islamic beauty salon
Surfing the Dead Sea
-I'm gonna kick your ass !
Israeli soldier celebrating a temporary cease-fire in the occupied Palestinian territory
African guy bringing peace and prosperity to his village
Soldier with TOY gun in radical Taliban mujaheddin territory (Kandahar, Afghanistan)
Multiple Choice
William Shakespeare looking at a very old picture of himself as a very young man
A painting simply walked away from the Louvre Museum today
The Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris after a few bottles of wine
-Oops, I just made another million dollars ! (Warren Buffett)
NEW Taliban sunglasses with fashionable analog anti-aircraft positioning system
Hasidic Jews deliberately burning in Orthodox Hell
( Auguste Monet. 1937. )
Bipolar Sunday swimmer melancholically eulogizing her youth
An undercover horse named INCOGNITO has anonymously won the Paris Grand Prix
The dark side of the sun during an accidental eclipse of the moon
The writer of Morphyne.com with his father
The writer of Morphyne.com with his wife
The WIFE
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Copyright @ Morphyne.com 2011
PHOTO CREDITS:
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