Anthony Wiener (sic) would be BY FAR the best choice for Mayor of New York City because :
1. He always tells the truth
2. He has a great Facebook physique
3. His loving wife thinks that he is the greatest thing since dead meat
4. He is always FOR something before he is AGAINST it, but never AGAINST something without being FOR it as well
5. He is always on the side of the poor working people or on that of flashy rich donors, whichever pay most
6. Politically speaking, he is always on the side of those who would vote for him with their eyes closed
7. He has a very PLEASANT and WARM personality, especially to those who confuse him for someone else
8. He is Jewish, but the other side of his secular personality is Irish and Italian Catholic Evangelic
9. He speaks fluent Spanish (as long as the teleprompter is on)
10. His house is in Florida, but he lives in New Jersey
Manhattan Capitalists Occupying Wall Street
The baby milk section in a supermodel supermarket
He then produced irrefutable proof that she was NOT doing enough to raise the child and to manage the household
What do Bono, François Hollande and Bill Gates have in common ?
They formed a new French rock band which has WAY too much money to spend.
Life is giving us many choices, but some of them are easier to make than you'd think
Drowning man asking for help
This is how the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing was explained in certain parts of the world
The most valuable marathon runner of the rest of the century
The U.S. Ambassador to North Korea watching a nuclear rocket take off
Professional intellectual pugilist David Mamet preparing for the Glengarry Glen Ross word fight
Magazine clipping cosmetic surgery is very convenient because it costs only pennies per day,
it is very easy to add, remove and replace, you can look like anyone else in the world (including celebrities)
you can change your look every day, you can look young, perfect and glamorous all on the same day
or you can have that Parisian je ne sais quoi look, just like an art masterpiece at the fabulous Musée d'Orsay
And on the seventh day, he rested. Which is when mortars and tanks zeroed in.
And suddenly ART CLASS turned into a luring, mind-bending and irresistible dream
Chessboxing is a new sport in which you are allowed to slap or to punch your opponent whenever he makes a bad move.
Offensive words of any kind are permitted, which is why chessboxers always wear garbage-canceling headphones.
The sport is very successful wherever alcohol, pride, property, race, sex, money or politics are involved.
President Obama pretends that he cares, but he does it so well that even dead people believe that he means every tear
Picture of Europe during the economic fireworks of the upcoming years
Room with a view
The 20-year-old-looking DNA face mask is the latest trend among middle-aged women who wish to look young whenever they want
The world has a new pope.
The news and the photo have nothing in common,
but neither do the billions of people who have nothing in common with the Catholic church.
Lacking any trace of visual inspiration, this artist simply wrote down how he wants his artwork to work
The horse meat scandal in Europe seems to have reached optical illusion proportions
Mark Zuckerberg explains how Morphyne.com uses photos to create news feed stories
China will overtake the United States, Germany and Japan and will become the number one economy in the world
Early morning sex. Check. Breakfast with Michelle. Check. Daily CIA briefing. Check. Read Morphyne on my iPhone. Priceless.
Entering the White House grounds is absolutely prohibited. Trespass at your own risk.
Archeologists say they found the 500-year-old remains of King Richard III under a parking lot in the city of Leicester,
but no one knows why the English monarch would have parked his car in that particular lot
or who might have killed him at that specific location after he failed to trade his throne for a horse.
Daily commuters waiting for the Manhattan ferry
The director of the federal budget waiting for the arrival of spring
-Honey, is that a Smith & Wesson .95 in your pocket ?
Scotch tape is the latest medical breakthrough in cosmetic surgery
because it eliminates wrinkles, it defies gravity and it gives you a healthy, upbeat and natural look
The advantage of having butterflies as house pets is that they do not bark, scratch the furniture,
chew on remote controls, poop on the carpet, chase squirrels or come home with dead mice in their mouth.
Domestic butterflies feed on ultraviolet flower colors and turn into white unicorns once a year.
A Mars rover enthusiast shows undeniable proof that LIFE has been found on that planet
René Magritte without a hat and without an apple
Christmas tree for very depressed people
Warning : writing may be hazardous to your life
A man was arrested for firing automatic weapons in a Southern California shopping mall.
It turned out that he was Quentin Tarantino rehearsing a scene for his next blockbuster film.
Pope Benedict XVI visiting a Popemobile dealership
Banking executives examining a painting by Jackson Pollock from an ACCOUNTING perspective
This man is about to jump off the CLIFF after he found out that his wife is sleeping with a FISCAL inspector
Self-portrait of Vincent van Gogh during his sane, happy, successful and very well paid art period
They say that after you die, you cross the river of Hades in a boatful of bird droppings.
It stinks so bad you can vomit, there is no water to drink where you're going,
no showers, no beds, no food, no concierge, it is AWFUL.
Flying houses do not have to pay property taxes because they are not connected to the conventional laws of the land
Dead people protesting against abysmal living conditions
Middle-aged woman suddenly realizing that an entire chapter is missing from her irreversible life
Michael Phelps does not seem to be able to comprehend
that the Olympics are over and that the gold medal count has come to an end
Adobe Photoshop allows toddlers to be self-sufficient even while both parents are at work
In this new adaptation of Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina", Keira Knightley plays a British actress who moves to Beverly Hills,
finds international fame and unlimited acting success (Oscar for Best Actress in 2013) makes an OBSCENE amount of money,
becomes politically involved (L) and marries a rock musician who has his own private jet. Happy end.
Unlike the Occupy Wall Street movement, this demonstration consists of gainfully employed, responsible and sober adults
who are only asking for a positive inner balance and for a daily moment of spiritual peace with the self
President Obama has developed a massive economic stimulus plan which will invest in good weather
while at the same time he announced severe austerity measures designed to cut as much as 20% of the rain
If the national debt continues to grow at this pace ( $3.92 billion per day )
the Great Wall of China will eventually extend to Los Angeles, Minneapolis, Chicago, Washington D.C. and New York
Polls show that 54% of all Americans are now IN FAVOR of gay marriage,
while 46% are concerned with the fact that it is very difficult to determine if the first group had been telling the truth
The Enterprise space shuttle was tested at very slow speed and in dull atmospheric conditions.
As a hypersonic extra-orbital spacecraft, it performed exceedingly well.
The military marriage is yet another alternative form of lifelong matrimonial union
where rank and discipline replace love and romance based on a very strict code of enforceable rules
With a little help from the Fish Whisperer, this toddler won the National Spelling Bee by correctly spelling the word "H2O"
Facebook will launch its own smartphone next year.
The phone will allow you to call your friends, your friends' friends or any other friends
you never met in your life or online, individually, anonymously or ALL of them at the very same time.
Steve Jobs had a secret ambition : to build the world's best automobile, to conquer 50% of the market
and to show all other manufacturers how to harvest a beautifully efficient machine.
But Steve Jobs died on October 5th, 2011.
Morphyne.com stepped in and completed the dream.
Studies show that most couples can find the illusion of everlasting love by watching a very uplifting and inspiring film
Even though François Hollande is the President of France and Barack Obama is the President of the United States,
they discovered that they have a whole lot in common when they both agreed that it feels absolutely GREAT to be king
Catholic tennis is the second most popular religious activity among evangelical hedonists
Quietly determined protester and 99% OCCUPIE warrior demonstrating for a yet unclear and unspecified cause
Dead soldier patrolling the city of Jerusalem on a peaceful and beautiful day
Every day after work, Barack Obama rides the bus back home to the blue-collar neighborhood where he lives with his family
Barack Obama has this recurrent dream about what would have happened had he married Claudia Schiffer instead
Attorney General Eric Holder sued the Sheriff of Arizona for upholding the law, he sued Apple for being excessively efficient
and he sued the Supreme Court for being too bipartisan, white, rich, educated and old
Pas de deux with well directed faux pas and perfectly scripted trompe l'oeil
After a certain age, you tend to look in all the wrong places and to lamentably miss all the really GOOD parts
The YouTube Generation's Guide to the Great Masters of Cinema Classics :
Charlie Who ?
Copyright @ Morphyne.com
Mona Lisa twenty years before she was photographed by Leonardo da Vinci
Morphyne calligraphy takes YEARS to complete and can only be deciphered by those with an eye for true wit
Picture of me as a boy
Cellular cloning means that you may be communicating with people you might NOT want to communicate with
or with people who are perfectly aware that you have NO idea who they are
To add STEALTHINESS to his game, Kobe Bryant wears a FACE MASK which renders him unrecognizable to opposing NBA teams
Not having won any Oscar this year, he went back to his room and watched Oprah reruns for the rest of the night
Paying off the national debt one Chinese restaurant at a time
Those in FAVOR of paid maternity leave, please raise your hand at this point !
If art museums make you feel any better, then art museums should be covered by national health care
DEMOCRACY 101 :
-What ? I am not allowed to speak on my cellphone in public ?
In response to Facebook's IPO filing which created a few hundred millionaires and a bunch of new billionaires,
the Occupy Wall Street movement decided to occupy Facebook and to claim its own fair share of the jackpot, why not ?
The new Apple iPhone 5 does NOT have a screen because it communicates directly with the eyes and the voice in your mind
Nicolas Sarkozy turned down an offer to be the President of Bruxelles
This bridge connects the Morphyne.com headquarters in the Hollywood Hills with the Sacre Coeur Basilica in Montmartre
To this girl, debt, deficit, unemployment, recession, inflation and presidential elections do not mean anything.
If she and her family can survive another year, she'll be happy.
Happy new year, little girl !
It must be very hard for someone like her to travel the globe with NO shoes
Polar bears hibernate underwater during winter, but they surface just in time for the exhilarating arrival of spring
The guy in the middle is by far the most powerful man on the planet
It's official : Berlin is now 100% JEWISH !
“The Protester” was named Time magazine’s person of the year. The owner of the van was NOT given a chance to respond.
These people were BLOWN AWAY by a speech President Barack Obama masterfully teleprompted today
"American Idol" is a very popular television show in Venezuela because it attracts contestants from ALL walks of life
By using a VERY intense concentration technique, this man can manage to stay in this suspended position for over one hour
Mark Zuckerberg joined the Occupy Wall Street movement
to protest against the financial institutions' inability to make as much money as his personal income
The Shopping Season is that favorite time of the year
when people love to buy things they don't really need or to replace them with things they already have
This store detective has a 100% apprehension rate in the produce department
Wall Street banker begging for a million-dollar cash bonus on the streets of Manhattan
Did you know that Vladimir Putin now works as a full-time KGB dentist ?
The Dalai Lama will be retiring soon, so a replacement for the lifetime Buddhist demigod had to be found in a hurry
McDonald's employee taking orders at a drive-thru window somewhere in deep insurgent Taliban territory
A Beverly Hills judge sentenced Lindsay Lohan to 30 days in jail after she admitted that she is addicted to a daily dose of Morphyne.com
Statistics shows that from the point of view of a toddler, most people are strange, complicated and OLD
Future U.S. voter proudly marking his territory
Supermodel wife Carla Bruni wearing an evening gown designed by Nicolas Sarkozy
Did you know that an un-authorized biography of Steve Jobs written in Chinese by anonymous writers
is 99% cheaper than the true Steve Jobs biography written in English by a professional biographer like Walter Isaacson ?
The 2012 Morphyne Obamamobile with moonroof jacuzzi and election campaign tax-the-rich teleprompter
New York City sanitation worker cleaning up after those pesky Occupy Wall Street protesters
The reaction of the Saudi ambassador to the United States upon realizing that Iran had plans to assassinate him in Washington D.C.
Dr. Ralph Steinman, a winner of the 2011 Nobel Prize in Medicine, died of PANCREATIC CANCER three days before winning the prestigious award.
The winner of the Nobel Prize in Chemistry won for discovering invisible traces of H2O in tap water,
the winner of the Nobel Prize in Physics disappeared in a self-made expanding black hole,
the winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics declared bankruptcy,
the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize was arrested for domestic battery and spousal abuse
and the winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature admitted experiencing complete writer's block while writing the award-winning novel.
Peanut butter and bacon donuts can actually help you LOSE weight,
because dead people weigh LESS than the people who eat a balanced low-calorie diet
While shopping incognito at Target, First Lady Michelle Obama went completely UNRECOGNIZED
(except by the army of casually dressed Secret Service agents who were acting as shoppers or as indifferent cashiers)
Spanish bullfighter José Tomás was killed by a bull in Barcelona today.
Texting while bullfighting is the number one cause of death in Catalonia's bullrings these days.
Matt Stone and Trey Parker (the creators of Morphyne.com) were JAILED today in Iran
for calling Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the Colonic Organic Material who thinks that he is the New Jesus Christ in the Holy Koran
Larry Page and Sergey Brin (the founders of Morphyne.com) were also JAILED as spies in Iran.
They were arrested while hiking online and were charged with spreading knowledge, information and truth.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is currently in New York negotiating a one hundred billion dollar bail in untraceable cash.
Dead man reminiscing his youth
Real parents with fictional children
The Art Police
Why work when you can SING ?
Single young women looking for REAL men
This is what happens when you hire an unstable, undependable and unreliable contractor
Young girls taking part in an unsynchronized swimming competition
Picture of an ever-recurring divorce
The new Lexus pick-up truck features an air-conditioned soft leather bed, a fully automatic invisible hard top,
an all-you-can-dream virtual minibar and a 360º holographic karaoke machine
As a condition of his participation, Woody Allen demanded that he be the ONLY member of the 2011 Cannes Film Festival jury
Picture of Osama bin Laden writing today's news on his laptop computer
Pakistani special forces proudly exhibiting the ability to find Al Qaeda terrorists hiding openly in their country
Picture of Osama bin Laden AFTER his death
Immortal young woman sleeping in her own grave
Picture of Cristiano Ronaldo begging for attention
President Obama warning Americans making more than $250,000 a year that there will be CONSEQUENCES if they continue to do so
Eclectic Taliban characters taking the bus from Kabul to New York
Picture of a contemplative COUGAR daydreaming about what could have happened had she lived seven lives
This French Air Force crew on a NATO mission to Libya
GOT LOST in the confusing European airspace and ended up bombing the hell out of Belgium
Designed by Frank Gehry, this modern nuclear power plant overlooking Downtown Los Angeles
features a five-star restaurant, an indoor swimming pool bar, complimentary limousine service
and free subconscious access to MORPHYNE.COM
Morphyne.com photographer hitchhiking from Fukushima to Benghazi (today)
The good news about the nuclear tragedy in Japan is that plutonium isotopes only last around for two thousand years
so by the time you will reach that critical age, you should be free and clear of any radiation at all
Unemployment is DOWN to 8.9% due to the fact that many companies are hiring people without pay
or replacing full-time jobs with no-time jobs which pay less than the official illegal immigrant wage
An apple once or twice every day would definitely keep the doctor from this fancy hotel room away
Julien Berthier is attempting to sail around the world on a sinking boat.
The voyage is sponsored by the New York Stock Exchange.
Morphyne.com predicts that kite-powered cars will be the automobiles of the future
Social networks and media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube ignited the Arab Spring power coups
much the same way Morphyne.com set fire to the Tour de France and to the French Revolution
Adolf Mubarak was the rock star of modern Islamic fundamentalist women
A painted glass mural at the Rolling Stones Cathedral in London
Here are a few power points from the President's State of the Union address :
-The Government will reduce the $14 trillion national deficit by at least one thousand dollars or less
-Government spending will be cut by minus zero percent
-There will be plenty of jobs (as long as you move to Shanghai or Beijing)
-If you do NOT have a job, one will be created for you at taxpayers' expense
-Obamacare premiums will not exceed your total annual income or your entire lifetime savings or both
-Your home's value will go UP a lot (provided you foreclose it at 40% and then buy it right back)
-U.S. Immigration and Border Patrol will enforce a new law : "Three strikes and you're IN"
-The Dollar will be worth about twenty-five cents
-China will take over the Federal Budget
-Mexico will win the Super Bowl
-Warren Buffett will relocate to France
BMW 335i Coupe : $43,900 BlackBerry SmartPhone: $99. Verizon Unlimited Plan: $69.99.
Texting while driving: Priceless.
A man with a shovel digging a hole in the water
McDonalds opened a very chic, expensive, elegant and discreet restaurant here in Paris
On his first day on the job, California Governor Jerry Brown announced that he would like to see property taxes go up 100%,
that smoking marijuana while driving an automobile should be legal and that Mexican border checkpoints will be a thing of the past
The writer of Morphyne.com during work hours
New spectroscopic evidence shows that Julian Assange is not only infrared, but also ultraviolet, radioactive and toxic
Business people praying for the economic recession to somehow go away by itself
According to a study conducted by the Morphyne Institute, nine people in ten have no idea who the tenth person is
You might not know this, but the Obama Stimulus Plan generates an average of 2,000 kilowatt calories per hour
Michael Moore's very last POV on this planet
Recession steak with Prozac cheese and deferred vegetables
Where else could Tiger Woods stare at this point ?
Her attorney looked at her boobs and decided : "Yep. Those two are well worth my time today in this court!"
In this latest stage version of Shakespeare's masterpiece, HAMLET rants effusively about the joy of cyclical penitence, repentance and guilt
Doctors performing an autopsy on a brand new Toyota automatic transmission diagnosed with an inexplicable sudden acceleration
found absolutely nothing wrong with the car other than the fact that it sometimes fails to respond when the driver applies the brake pedal
The NEW Apple TV has no screen and no remote control
because it uses your own imagination to transmit picture and sound straight to your eyes and your brain
Long before David Letterman, Jay Leno and Johnny Carson, there was the NBC show on Morphyne.com
Sex after the age of 100
Red wine can make you see things you would never admit you would rather see
President Barack Obama signed a sweeping Passive Change Bill,
which says that the more things stay the same, the more likely they are to fluctuate imperceptibly,
to stagnate exponentially or to improve retroactively
Morphyne.com uninhibited readers reacting to our latest international news
TRAVEL DEALS around the Gulf of Mexico are more than abundant these days.
Hotel rooms with a black oil sludge beach view for instance are less than twenty dollars a day.
Dead pelicans on your balcony or fish gasping for air in your shower might get you the room 100% FREE.
Crude oil in the drinking water might translate into FREE EVIAN.
Nausea and vomiting caused by unbreathable air might even get you a free trip to the BAR.
Apple CEO Steve Jobs shows Russian President Dmitry Medvedev live video footage of Russian spies spying for Russia in New York
Angelina Jolie will play Egyptian queen Cleopatra and Brad Pitt will play Roman emperor Marc Anthony
in a remake of the 1963 film starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.
In this new version, Cleopatra divorces Marc Anthony and raises seven children on her own and for less than $50 Million a year,
while Marc Anthony writes a tell-all blockbuster book about life in a non-stop sex dungeon and in everyday matrimonial HELL.
Picture of Steve Jobs trying to figure out the finger-free iPhone with telepathic Morphyne software
Shaquille O'Neill competed in the 2010 National Spelling Bee, but unfortunately did not get very far
If you see a whole lot of ORANGE in this black-and-white picture, it means you have taken too much medication today
A 7.2-magnitude earthquake struck northern Mexico on Easter Sunday,
but since most Mexicans live in the United States, hardly anybody was hurt.
Only TWO people have died.
One Mexican man died of a panic attack while burglarizing a home
and another one died when he crashed a stolen car into a cocaine vending machine.
Thousands of people though have reported multiple bullet holes to their bodies.
Today, the only visible damage is looted stores, dead people roaming the streets
and decapitated police officers screaming in pain.
Other than that, the situation is completely under control.
Dyslexic KKK rabbi on his way to Catholic school
This is the first baby boy EVER who can live and breathe entirely underwater.
His father is a diver and his mother is a mermaid.
He likes to play with his dolphins. A Bermuda Triangle shark is his nanny.
His name is NeMo and he speaks H2O.
Picture of a demoralized Angelina Jolie in Midtown Manhattan after yet another unsuccessful job interview
He comes to us in most MERCURIAL ways
Dead AND soaking wet ? Now that's a bit TOO much, don't you think ?
The British Academy of Film and Television Awards at the Royal Opera House in London
seem to have been attended only by ABSENT and UNAVAILABLE people this year
Teutonic knight enjoying a cup of cappuccino before departing on yet another crusade
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad formed his own Islamic rock band called "The Nuculars"
and is now ON TOUR playing all dysfunctional psychiatric punk clubs he can get a microphone in
Italian Mafia mobsters have infiltrated the entertainment industry
and are frequently challenging the Hollywood Jewish oligarchy for very lucrative red carpet major creative awards
International passengers waiting to board a transatlantic flight to the United States
Throne salesman waiting for customers
If you see a set of consecutive numbers, you are dull, unimaginative, mediocre and common.
If you see a set of colorful, three-dimensional and exponential LETTERS you belong to a very creative elite.
This is what he supposedly said : "HAPPY HANUKKAH, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR" !
Zeitgeist Lunch Break
Nigerian student traveling on Northwest Airlines from Amsterdam to Detroit
Girls just want to have REST
U.S. Army General Stanley McChrystal, a former commander of the NATO forces in Afghanistan
explains the unquantifiable quantum dynamics of an unpredictable and ever-elusive BLACK HOLE
The Morphyne Art Gallery is now open at 34, Rue du Louvre, New York, CA 90069
The RECESSION seems to have hit even Texas hinterland over-priced high fashion boutiques
President Barack Obama has been visiting China
supposedly searching for the economic and political wisdom to replace our constitutional free market capitalist system
Portrait of a man from the past
The MORPHYNE everyday face cream works like a MIRACLE even on women over 4,000 years old
Morphyne.com real estate agent with horizontal condominium buyer
Vincent van Dogh
According to the latest polls, President Obama would at this point not only win the Nobel Peace Prize
but also the Vietnam War, the 2016 Copenhagen Olympics, an Oscar, American Idol and the NBA most valuable player award
The Mother Theresa 2009 Summer Swimsuit Collection
( 1755 -1793 )
Self Portrait with Subliminal Message
President Obama wants to make sure that his health care plan hires the most experienced and competent CEO
Taliban fighters before they ever gave a damn about Taliban fighting
Waiting for Go d'Eau
In an effort to stimulate the American economythe $ 4,500 Cash for Clunkers Rebate Program has been extended to brand new
Aston Martin, Audi, Bentley, Ferrari, Maserati, Mercedes Benz, Porsche, Range Rover and Rolls Royce automobiles
Transcendental hippie monkey with vertical Malibu haircut
With golf holes this big, no wonder Tiger Woods wins every time !
Nicolas Sarkozy agrees with Barack Obama that a HOT STIMULUS PACKAGE is very hard NOT to follow
-What are you looking at ?
The Running of the Jews
In order to cut COSTS the Tour de France is taking place in China this year
Picture of the current RECESSION as seen by Morphyne.com
We now know what Brad Pitt reads over and over again during his BEST literary moments !
Afghan women at an Islamic beauty salon
Surfing the Dead Sea
-I'm gonna kick your ass !
Israeli soldier celebrating a temporary cease-fire in the occupied Palestinian territory
African guy bringing peace and prosperity to his village
Soldier with TOY gun in radical Taliban mujaheddin territory (Kandahar, Afghanistan)
William Shakespeare looking at a very old picture of himself as a very young man
A painting simply walked away from the Louvre Museum today
The Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris after a few bottles of wine
-Oops, I just made another million dollars ! (Warren Buffett)
NEW Taliban sunglasses with fashionable analog anti-aircraft positioning system
Hasidic Jews deliberately burning in Orthodox Hell
( Auguste Monet. 1937. )
Bipolar Sunday swimmer melancholically eulogizing her youth
An undercover horse named INCOGNITO has anonymously won the Paris Grand Prix
The dark side of the sun during an accidental eclipse of the moon
The writer of Morphyne.com with his father
The writer of Morphyne.com with his wife
Copyright @ Morphyne.com 2013
Bruno Metra & Laurence Jeanson
Heather Dewey Hagborg
Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott
Inez & Vinoodh
Phillips de Pury
art + commerce
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